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3/10/2017 - Squid President
What happens when the President becomes a squid? Well, first off, that's a weird question to ask. Second off, I tried to answer it here.
2/27/2017 - Slash (Bonus Features)
Hungry for more of Slash? Dive into the exciting self-congratulatory DVD blog bonus features!
2/24/2017 - Slash (Part Seven)
The final chapter. As final as these things go, anyway.
2/17/2017 - Slash (Part Six)
How to Survive a Pursuit: Supernatural Serial Killer Edition
2/10/2017 - Slash (Part Five)
Who will survive, and how stabbed will they be by the end of it? Find out today, maybe!
2/8/2017 - Apolitical High Fantasy
A snippet of my totally real, not at all fake novel about an evil autocrat beholden to an evil wizard, none of which is sociopolitical commentary. Nope. No, sir.
2/3/2017 - Slash (Part Four)
Wherein our heroines attempt to outflank the killer and are met with some unfortunate realities.
1/27/2017 - Slash (Part Three)
It's some random day in January, so I guess I better try my hand at slasher fiction. Or whatever. I don't know anymore. Next week I'll stop this running gag. Promise.
1/20/2017 - Slash (Part Two)
It's inauguration day, so I guess I better try my hand at slasher fiction. Or whatever. I don't know anymore.
1/13/2017 - Slash (Part One)
It's Friday the 13th, so I guess I better try my hand at slasher fiction. Or whatever. I don't know anymore.
10/24/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Endurance
"I suppose my point is that, realistically, it is fairly wise to know one’s limits and be accepting of them so as to not end up with a squirming mass of insects for a shirt."
10/17/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: Cyndar's Timekeeper
"“What if she’s already dead?” one of his cohorts asked.
Olson sighed in irritation. “Sylvia, are you dead?”
“No,” Sylvia responded, clearly angry.
“There, you see?” Olson told his companion. “Don’t die until I’ve had a chance to kill you.”"
10/10/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Interruptions
"It wasn’t long before Cordelia noticed something that did not fit the theme of graffiti-based threats—sets of four long scratches in the carpeting that revealed the wood beneath. Some of these marks were flourished with spatters of dark stains, the origins of which the girl felt were better left unruminated upon."
10/3/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: The Friendly Footstools
"Those panicked students who spent the next morning searching for the missing noticed that all of the footstools in the dorms had similarly vanished. While initially only regarded as a curiosity, all replacement furniture that was brought in also disappeared—always overnight, always out of sight."
9/26/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Theories
"“I simply refuse to talk to someone with such an antagonistic relationship with combs.” The bed practically choked on its own amusement. “You are deliciously cruel.”"
9/19/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Dreams
"No one knows precisely how it happened, but ... Garbovan was found in the chemistry labs as a green viscous fluid contained in a sturdy flask, his worried face occasionally visible in the churning goo."
9/12/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Void Closets and Friendships Past
"As for the scars, the eyepatch’s reduction of his depth perception made the already-clumsy boy more susceptible to repeatedly jabbing himself with his silverware."
9/05/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Fortress Woundwort
"A few of the ones with more thoughtful expressions watched with what Cordy accurately guessed was bemusement, although the watchers thought it was mere apathy, an emotion they called ‘unfeels’."
8/29/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Reacquaintances
"The first hut ever constructed, history tells us, owes its existence to a Thaddeus Rathermaere. Unfortunately for him, his desperation did not match his skill, and he is also recorded as the first victim of catastrophic architectural failure."
8/11/2016 - Rejected Harry Potter Sequels
Wherein I reveal that I was tapped to pitch new stories for sequels to a popular book series, and further reveal that such an idea was truly a mistake.
8/08/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: A Cauldron of Yesterdayers
"Knowing the creature’s weakness to fire (a trait shared by most things, really), Cordy sprinted past the bouncing blobs and at the [stove], leapt, and slammed into it, grasping at its sides as the impact rang through her body."
8/01/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: On Potato Politics
"[P]otatoes are not known for their spatial awareness. Religious variety, perhaps. But combine a lack of conception of four dimensional space with Edgewood’s relationship with architectural cohesion—described at best as “darkly sarcastic”—and any traveler would have come to Cordelia’s conclusion..."
7/25/2016 - Our Darker Purpose: Part Two
"“Is the museum on an ancient burial ground of some sort?”
“No... but the fourth Archpriestess of Flatbrook did find a quarter just down the road...”"
7/11/2016 - I Think I'm Playing Pokémon Go Wrong
If we're being honest, I don't recall this series being so foggy and gory. Also, the writing seems a touch... I dunno... unnecessarily obtuse?
7/4/2016 - Facts About the People and Places of the United States
I have used all my massive brainmeat to produce this fantastic list of facts about the people and places of these United States, and you're going to love them.
4/7/2016 - Primary Horror Story
Based on real events.
Kind of.
2/29/2016 - A Word on Romancifying
Wherein I discuss the process of writing as authentic a relationship as I possibly can while also mentioning the other ways I've done the whole "relationship writing" thing in the past.
2/22/2016 - Happy Improbables Release Day!
If you want to know a little bit more about my writing process when it came to the newly released Improables, well, here's your chance!
2/15/2016 - For Immediate Release
It has come to our attention that a famous wizard, whose name has been redacted, may not have been the paragon of morality that we have made him out to be.
11/09/2015 - Washed Hands is Free (On Kindle)! 11/9/2015 to 11/13/2015
Hope you like book offers, because boy howdy is there one presently available! Washed Hands awaits your excited, sweaty ones!
11/02/2015 - Improbables, Excerpt from Chapter Three
Join Abigail Wren in Whitewater, Washington, a place whose most ominous secret is the fact that it should be classified as being in a state of theoretical ultra-boring.
10/19/2015 - There's a Spider in My Car
Wherein a long drive becomes wrought with tension when an unlikely friendship develops between a man and an eight-legged companion.
9/21/2015 - Improbables Sneak Peek
I was busy doing something not very Silent Hill-ish this weekend, so you can take a look at my next book! That's fun, right?
8/31/2015 - Improbables Prologue
Woooo! The first run through of my next book is done and you can read the prologue right here! DO IT!
6/29/2015 - Improbables: A Work in Progress
It's about time I let you all in on what I've been working on recently. You know, apart from the thousand other things I'm also working on.
4/20/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: Frothy the Dragon
"On the plus side, they were made very aware very quickly that they were on fire. This awareness, however, did not last very long."
4/13/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Silence
"[S]tealthily wasn’t the word for it. He was... repeatedly booted out in increasingly cringe-inducing ways, one involving a banana hat and several old boxes of tissues."
4/06/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Desks and the Great Surface
"Edgewood does not discriminate against any of our students, despite what claptrap they choose to believe... Unless it happens to be that boring purgatory garbage. Those students are the worst."
3/30/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Obsolete Operators
"In comparison, other students usually passed barely knowing that rocking a vending machine may end up doubling the purchase about 30% of the time. The other 70% results in the vending machine enabling its “theft deterrents”, which results in a 84% chance of having to clean said student off the walls."
3/23/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Traditions
"The similarities between spiders and cats continually mounting clearly meant nothing to Karl, whose mind hadn’t even entertained the notion."
3/16/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: Some Harmless Markings
"The girl’s willingness to provide relatively painful first aid had come in handy in several classes, such as biology, gym, or “Make it Hurt: Coordinating Physical Effects with Bad Poetry”."
3/09/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Discretion
"It could also be said that “cowardice” is just an evolutionarily unsound meathead’s way of pronouncing “self-preservation”."
3/02/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Hallways
"[I]t should be noted that, while our raven-haired mistress occasionally did take a stand in the directional debate, her stance on hallways... was substantially less defined."
2/23/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On the Naming of Spiders
"A pile of shoes missing their laces? Clearly they’ve become sentient; don’t bother them, and they won’t bother you."
2/16/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On the Disappearance
"... she hoped that she still had her gardening gloves in her backpack from her semester taking “Horticulture For When the Plants are Actively Attempting to Kill You”."
2/09/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Cordy
"Of course, it also offered those involved the feeling of family, something so unfamiliar at Edgewood that many who actually experienced the warmth of acceptance wrote it off as stomach cramps."
2/02/2015 - Our Darker Purpose: On Edgewood
Well, some people seemed to like it, so here we go again. "Any attempt to wrest symbolism from this will end in failure and is actively discouraged by your humble narrator."
1/26/2015 - Our Darker Prologue
What does one call it when you write a prologue to a property that isn't your own but only includes elements of a narrative style that you like? It's still fanfiction, right?
12/29/2014 - The Officially Unofficial Washed Hands Soundtrack
Like music? Sure ya do. Now you can like it while readingWashed Hands! Not like you couldn't do that before, but now you have my music there. So... um... better?
10/14/2014 - Happy Release Day, Washed Hands!
A wonderful new Booktrope book was released today, and it just happened to be mine! In other words, Washed Hands is available for purchase!
7/14/2014 - I'm So Bad at Paranormal Romance, You Guys (You Don't Even Know)
Today, I tried my hand at paranormal romance and I think I failed miserably. Live and learn, amiright?
6/30/2014 - The Officially Unofficial "Project Northwoods" Soundtrack
Hope you like music! I went through and thought up some recommended listening to supplement your Northwoods experience.
5/27/2014 - Sample Chapter from Michael G. Munz's Zeus is Dead
Wherein I abuse my power to get my readers early access to an awesome book that manages to make Greek mythology hilarious. More so than normal, anyway.
2/10/2014 - Washed Hands - Chapter Nineteen
Monica puts her life on the line one last time in a last-ditch effort to bring the killer to justice.
2/3/2014 - Washed Hands - Chapter Eighteen
In order to head off the killer, Monica must put herself directly in harm's way. The weather also continues to be problematic.
1/27/2014 - Washed Hands - Chapter Seventeen
Monica and her companion investigate a hunch that brings them one step closer to finding the killer and one step deeper into the nightmare.
1/13/2014 - Washed Hands - Chapter Sixteen
Hunting down the perpetrator takes an unexpected turn. Also, Jasper's breasts are discussed.
1/6/2014 - Washed Hands - Chapter Fifteen
Monica and Jasper regroup and try to figure out just how Victoria's death and Monica's life tie together.
12/30/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Fourteen
Monica finds herself pushed to the point of no return when someone she trusted may not be wholly committed to proving her innocence.
12/23/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Thirteen
Monica's past comes to haunt her as she confronts one member of the conspiracy that has targeted her.
12/16/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Twelve
With leads in short supply, Monica isolates one possibility that may prove her innocence.
12/9/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Eleven
A return to the office ends in panic when good intentions end disastrously, leaving Monica only one avenue of escape.
11/25/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Ten
A visit to the hardware store, a shared memory, and a mysterious pursuer put an end to Monica's bad day.
11/18/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Nine
The next steps are planned in a diner as Monica gets into contact with someone she believes she can trust.
11/11/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Eight
Monica finds an associate she thinks she can trust, but her desire to lay low takes a brief detour due to behavior most foul.
11/4/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Seven
The Riordan Hotel is not nearly as safe as originally thought, as Monica makes an unnerving discover that once more puts her on the move.
10/28/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Six
Monica throws down a false trail for the police to follow and takes advantage of a trusting soul in order to get closer to finding the killer
10/21/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Five
A night spent in a parking structure turns into a desperate search for answers as the police close in on Monica.
10/14/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Four
Wherein a bad situation grows worse, a bystander makes himself useful, and a bathroom is looted for goods.
10/7/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Three
In which our heroine ponders on the finer points of population movements and discovers all is not as it seems.
9/30/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter Two
Where our intrepid protagonist kills time in a bar and provides further insight into the daily workings of her job and incompetent coworkers.
9/23/2013 - Washed Hands - Chapter One
Wherein a not-quite-private eye encounters a frustrating scenario, borne of an earlier not-quite-short-story.
6/24/2013 - Message Undeliverable
A short attempt at horror through the medium of text message. Perhaps a good example of a stronger concept over its ultimate execution, but it was worth a shot.
5/13/2013 - Otherworld: Enemy Within - Part Two
Part two of the tale of a slightly unhinged man trapped in his house and surrounded by an aggressive and unnatural reality that actively hates those within it. So, just like Baltimore.
5/6/2013 - Otherworld: Enemy Within - Part One
Part one of a screenplay I had written awhile back taking place in the same universe as two other things I had written as a tribute to my love for Silent Hill.
4/29/2013 - To Whom It May Concern... Umbrella, Inc.
Wherein a concerned employee voices some grievances that are of the utmost importance to a company that has clearly lost its collective marbles.
4/22/2013 - Prophecy
A tale of adventure, marriage, elves, and war crimes awaits you in today's magical blog post. It certainly isn't an example of me hating on a particular literary device.
4/15/2013 - Washed Hands, Inc.
Please follow the link for the next portion of your application process. Washed Hands, Inc. will provide you with a transcript of one of our more successful, if taser-rific, consultations.
4/8/2013 - /lick
A tale of a noble Tauren hunter named Kojak and his tribulations in dealing with an orc with a curious inability to say anything but the words "Orc" and "Bark."
3/25/2013 - Canon Part Three
The third (and, at least at this moment, final) attempt at poignancy that probably fails utterly while at least catering to the teen demographic. Or something. I dunno anymore.
3/4/2013 - Canon Part Two
I hope you enjoy the canonical entry in the Canon canon, which has multiple variations on how things could have gone, making the actual canon kind of hard to parse. Wee!
2/11/2013 - Canon
Some experimental and incomplete fiction for you, for all your incomplete, experimental fiction needs. May involve a fair degree of angst.
12/24/2012 - It'sha Kirmas Mircul!
A slightly different take on the traditional Christmas story, with swearing and blackmail and bittersweetness, oh my!